yes, be my judge

Assalamualaikum wbt,
tonight i'm bit tired because of the cold.
the phlegm and all, gosh, i'm very messy right now.
drop the subject, i'm not going to write on my cold, nor the phlegm, i just wanted to share the feelings that i had,
the sadness that i felt when i accidentally know what people thought about me, when they are yet to meet me.

since i began to remember my childhood, i remembered that i've been criticized ever since. i have two sisters, one big brother, and two younger brother. i'm not that cute when i was still a kid, not pretty either. back then, i don't have that many friends. to be precised, maybe i don't have any. i remembered that one of my neighbors asked her daughters not to be friend with me because i did not achieve straight A in my UPSR exam. what more the mother said that i 'm not pretty, so they cannot befriend with me. i was so sad, ever since, i stayed at home. my world evolved around my home and the school. i'm a loner. i spent my time either with reading or doing the homework.

ever since i was small, i've been compared with my two lovely sisters. yes, they're so lovely that i look up upon them like they are some kind of angel. they are the angels. people even surprised whenever they met the three of us, because they said i don't look like my parents' daughter. they said i looked different than my two sisters. i'm not as fair as my two sisters, and not as pretty as them both. is it bad that i looked different?
as i grew up, i got so scared to meet people. i am so scared, up until now, to meet people. i afraid they will say bad things about me. criticize me. but yes, they did say bad things about me, that i lose my confidence.

"she's fat, she's not pretty, she's got scar on her face, she's a kelantenese; kelantanese have a bad attitude, she's not pure malay,she' not smart, her english is bad, her grades are not good, she's not rich, she doesn't have a style, she doesn't follow the trends, she's not up-to-date, she's not in the best school.... bla, bla, bla"

people,
until when you want to keep on judging me?
i'm trying to live here.
please, do not kill my spirit,
i did nothing to you,
why would you go to the extend that you said only bad things about me?
am i that bad?
why?
is it because fat people like me, don't know how to feel sad?
i don't have a feelings?
people,
i do,
we do.
like you,
but then you won't bother, right?
you can just say anything that you wanted to say,
cause i'm not your daughter, not your sister,
i'm nobody to you.


what i can do?
i can just say this to myself

~it's ok julaiha, once they're tired, they will stop.be strong~

yes, be strong, no matter how hurt i am, no matter how sad this heart is,
countless tears on my cheek
i have to be tough, right?
He will take a good care of me,
no matter how hard it is,
He will always listen to me :)
yes, i know Allah planned something better for me,
i'm not trying to be pathetic here,
just that i'm trying to look for some strength  :)

~families, friends and arif~

thank you for lending me some of your strength :)
thank you for staying by my side
thank you for the loves
that keeps me awake and live.
this life is so challenging,
complicated
and hard
but there must have been something behind it
Allah works in a very mysterious way
surely He knows what is best for me, for us
dear Allah,
thanks for the years full of tests
they've made me stronger inside =)

dear people,
yes,
be my judge :)
hate me,
i'll be stronger inside
Insya Allah

tahniah Aliaa & Zhafran

Assalamualaikum wbt,
juju nangis time update blog ni (tears of joy for them both)
tahniah Aliaa dan suami Zhafran.
semoga rumahtangga kalian mendapat berkat,
bahagia keakhir hayat
juju doakan yang terbaik buat kalian

tahniah Aliaa
may you both be blessed with a lot of soleh and solehah babies :)

(i may be smiling outside, but who knows the inside of me?)
                                        juju

lazing around

Assalamulaikum wbt,
gosh, i'm exhausted. really tired that one thing keeps on coming after another.
good thing that i'm done with my American literature exhibition. Alhamdulillah.
right now i just need sometime to laze around and have a good resting day.
the question is, WHEN?
perhaps when this semester ends.
the other day, my sayang gave me a brand new hand phone. white in color. Sony Ericsson Walkman c100i. so cute that it seems i can't stop holding it. kawaiiii desu~

haven't gave her name yet :)

so cute kan?
plus he gave me a a pair of shoe.

comel jugak kan :)

dia bagi juju ni jugak, sebab katanya kaki juju selalu sangat melecet bila pakai kasut baru :)

Rantai untuk si putih :)

entry 12 november

Assalamualaikum wbt
ye, juju tahu, tajuk entry kali ni agak lari dari  tarikh sekarang
tapi juju sangat sibuk dan kurang berkesempatan nak update blog dikala keserabutan dan kesibukan menguruskan projek  literature exhibition dan juga tak lama lagi persembahan teater.
mohon Ya Allah berikan juju kekuatan.
12 november lepas genap umur juju 21 tahun
Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah.
syukur juju panjatkan ke hadrat Ilahi kerana dapat lagi juju hidup kat dunia ni
mohon ya Allah, umur juju dipenuhi perkara yang bermanfaat buat umat seluruhnya

Alhamdulilah, terima kasih juga juju ucapkan buat keluarga dan kawan-kawan yang beri ucap selamat buat juju.
terima kasih juga buat mereka-mereka yang tersayang yang bagi juju hadiah
Allah memberkati kalian :)

dari kak long :)

ini dari mr sayang saya :)

ini dari junior saya di kelas arab :)

ini dari besfren saya
cik siti zaridah :)

blog mereka cantik :)

Assalamualaikum wbt,
tadi juju blogwalking jap. serius blog mereka-mereka ini sangat cantik. sangat lah canggihnya, tak terlawan blog juju ngan dorang,
hehehehe.
aduh, sakit kepala pulak. nape ntah :(tadi punya lah plan ngan zara, aisyah, fatin and mas nak pergi berbasikal. malangnya hujan pula tadi :(
tertangguh lagi plan kami.
tapi takpe, memandangkan hujan tu rahmat Allah, nape pulak kita nak sedih kalau hujan, kan?
cuba tengok negara-negara lain yang panas je sepanjang tahun, taburan hujan yang sikit, mesti air pun tak cukup kan?
kesian dorang. makanan tak cukup, air tak cukup.
tapi kita kat malaysia ni siap membazir lagi. kalau lauk sama je complain, padahal orang kat somalia sume tu, kalu dapat air nasi pun jadi lah. sedih kan?
tahu tak air nasi tu ape?
air nasi tu, kalu tak salah juju, maksudnya masak sikit beras dengan menggunakan air yang banyak. eventually, beras tu hancur sebab terlalu banyak air dan jadi sebati dengan air tu. jadi macam bubur , macam time kita masak nasi tu masa air dah start menggelegak. sedih kan?
sebab tu lah, ada sorang kakak no cakap ngan juju, kalu kita start rasa riak je, puasa lah. kerana puasa itu menahan sifat mazmumah dalam diri kita. banyak hikmah puasa kan? 


ok, sorry sorry, juju dah ntah kemana-mana je membebel ni. tapi ni lah juju. hidup juju tak lah banyak sangat menda menarik untuk diceritakan, tapi Alhamdulillah, hidup yang juju jalani ni, sudah diatur yang Maha Berkuasa dengan sangat baiknya. Dia kuatkan juju dengan buat juju sedih, buat juju sakit, tetapi Dia buat juju rasa gembira sangat-sangat jugak. bila Dia reward juju bila juju mula move on dari rasa sakit tu, bila juju tinggalkan rasa sedih tu. Dia sangat adil, kan?
Dia kuatkan hati juju dengan buat orang benci juju, marah juju, sebab Dia nak juju sayang dorang lagi banyak. kan?
life is sweet, sweeter than i thought :)

sahabat saya :)

Assalamulaikum wbt,
apa yang juju nak tulis ni pasal hal 2 3 minggu lepas. asyik tertangguh sebab sangat sibuk.
pasal sahabat saya
alhamdulillah,
sahabat juju yang berdua ni sangat baik.
alkisahnya, juju tak sihat tempoh hari.
malangnya pula dalam perjalanan balik dari kelas arab bersama mereka berdua,
hujan turun dengan sangat lebat.
yang ada payung hanyalah zahra sorang, tapi zahra dengan aisyah payungkan je juju.
dorang cakap juju tak sihat, kena la berpayung, takutnya melarat nanti.
terharu sangat  ngan dorang. a friend in need is a friend indeed.
indeed, they are a good friend of mine :)

yang pakai tudung pink tu zahra, yang sebelahnya tu aisyah :)

 

 

 

 

ni mas. tapi hari tu dia tak datang kelas
kaki dia sakit, dia pun bestfriend juju jugak :)

itu lah ceritanya :)
nanti juju update lagi ea?
juju nak siap-siap pergi kelas arab ni :)
tatatata
sayonara :)

Happy Birthday Sayang

Assalamualaikum wbt,
blog,
post juju yang kedua hari ni khas juju tujukan buat kesayangan juju, Muhammad Arif Shahir, yang menyambut Hari Kelahirannya yang ke-20 pada 21 Oktober 2011 lepas. kami belum celebrate lagi. juju cuma belanja dia makan kat warung feveret* dia kat PJ :)

 

happy 20th birthday sayang.
may Allah bless you with a blissful life ahead.
may He grant all your wishes and gives you only the best

may all happiness in this world belong to you
because you are my beloved and i want to have only the best.
please be happy dear
please be tough,

like always :)

i am NOt

Assalamualaikum wbt,
dear blog,
i just wanted to make myself clear to everybody that; 
i'm not someone they'd love to pick a fight with.
i'm not someone they'd love to be harsh with,
i'm not someone they'd love to steal something from,
even someone,
i'm not someone they'd love to lie,
i'm not someone easily forgive,
i'm not someone easily forget.
i love with all my heart,
i love with all i have,
i love forever till the end
this my way,
mess up with me,
and i'll mess you up twice as hard.
such a freak i am, right?
nananana, just to those who start it first.
mess me first, i won't give you a second longer...

be grateful dear....

Assalamualaikum wbt,
how are you blog?
juju's days kinda hard for the past few weeks.
juju got a lot of assignments that juju even forget on how to handle them so that it didn't bring mess and such.
blog, his birthday is coming in a couple of days. will you help me find something nice to give him?
i've got mid term exam for american literature tomorrow.
hope i manage to pull myself together and read for all i can and walllllaaaaaaaaaaaa, i did well in the test*life won't be this easy my dear juju*
external factors really made my suffocated over here.
gosh, i need some fresh air, flowers and  a warm milk bath with rose petals. plus, strawberry with some nutty chocolate bar and orange juice. or perhaps a cup of coffee, even a hot cup of peach flavored tea would be good.
CAMERON!!!!
i'm coming........ :)
oh yes in your dream juju.just went to Fraser's Hill and you wanted to go to Cameron now.....

Ya Allah, hamba mohon diberi kekuatan,
mohon diberi ketabahan,
mohon diberi fikiran yang cemerlang,
mohon dikurniakan kesihatan,
mohon dijaga mereka yang tersayang,
apa yang baik, maka tunjukkan lah.
apa yang terlarang maka dijauhkan.

life has never been easy

Assalamulaikum wbt,
juju angry betul lor, internet connection still tak dapat kat bilik, that i have to online at center or at Mahallah Office Halimah. sungguh penat.
well, hari ni genap 4 minggu kat gombak. and i keep on losing my weight. sudah 6 kilo and it keeps on coming.
hahaha. what do you expect?
i live in level 4 and i had to walk for 15-20 minutes to go to class. i lost my appetite, and didn't eat well for a few weeks already. not that i skipped my meals, just that, since i'm taking honey, it made me feeling full and i feel a lot more healthier.
hahaha, kempen madu lak. i had tons of assignments and no internet connection which made me suffer. bukannya depending kat internet, just that its easy to find the needed journals or info. suffocated over here, huk huk huk. plus, sebab tak dapat internet la juju dah jarang hapdet blog ni. cian blog, berhabuk sana sini dah. just a quick update and need to log out now
sayonara dear
Assalamulaikum

sekian lamanya tak hapdet :)

Assalamualaikum wbt,
ok, juju tahu dah lama juju tak hapdet. tapi, ada juju kesah?
hehehehe. sebenarnya, kes keja la yang membantutkan hasrat murni saya untuk menghapdet blog yang tak seberapa ni. puh~nat sangat taw keja. ingat senang ke nak mencari sesuap nasi ni? walaupun kat kfc tiap-tiap hari boleh makan nasi dengan ayam kfc sampai nasinya dah tak boleh diterima dek tekak saya yang comel ini.
untuk makluman, keja saya sangat penat. berdiri 24 jam. kaki sampai terasa kejang. macam maw pengsan taw. jadi, sila hargai usaha mak bapak anda bekerja. jangan nak menghabiskan duit tak tentu hala. jangan nak perasan kaya kalau family kita tak senang sangat. pastu demand nak menda yang branded ngan mak bapak. ape, ingat mak bapak kita tu cop duit ke?
 ish, hangin betul juju ni.
ok, chill sket. 
meh juju nak cter, juju dah beli camera yang sangat comel warna putih. nama dia Snowy. hehehe. nak tengok gambar dia tak?

 pastu, ni pulak gambar Snowy dengan members gadget yang lain :)

 

boleh la juju beraya dengan camera baru. tinggal nak tukar cover handset sony ni je jadi putih. and beli handset baru kaler putih. Mr. Caer cakap sony experia comel,
nanti le, tengok bajet dulu. hehehehe.

ok lah, out dulu.

*pasni juju sambung lagi.

*pasni tu maksudnya tengoklah ble juju ada peluang nak hapdet lagi
hehehehe :D
tatata. nak pegi guardian ni.

pengalaman keja

Assalamualaikum wbt,
dear blog
how are you?
juju sangat penat.
keja kan,
yelah,
mana ada keja yang tak penat.

AWAS!!!
entry ini mungkin agak panjang berbanding entry sebelum ini. make sure you had already had your meal, performed your prayer, and revised your study. coz i also got the  "saham  " whenever you forgot to do those important things.
alas, juju finally got a job. kat kfc kl sentral. i never thought that working as service crew at fast food restaurant would be that damn tired and challenging. so please give them a big round of applause.
one thing that i don't get it is, why the customers who dine in there would had their meal and left the table messed up with foods, and drinks and the sauces here and there. i mean, why should you get the sauces if you won't really dip your food in it?
just to burden the crew?
belum kira yang keep on marah-marah kat kami.
mean, we were just a normal human being trying to earn some money for living. 
ada jugak yang pandang rendah kat crew-crew ni.
but once kte dah tahu cerita mereka-mereka,
baru lah kte akan faham
betapa tabahnye dorang ni.
macam-macam kisah.
ada yang keja tu bisu.
kak fiqah namanya.
dia jaga bahagian back-up,
macam dapur la.
yang letak makanan-makanan tu dalam bekas untuk take away order.
ada yang ada degree jugak.
kak azrin and kak hafida.
ada yang sebab tak dapat keja lain.
no choices but they have to keep on working there,
ada yang ayahnye sakit,
kena sara keluarga.
macam-macam.

yang juju tak paham, kebanyakan yang pergi makan tu orang dewasa. mereka yang dah kerja. golongan profesional. tahu tata cara dan etika makan, tapi mengalahkan budak kecik. bsepah sana sini.
macam-macam ragam boleh tengok.
and, ingat keja kat kfc ni senang ke,
kena pegi kelas taw.
kelas komunikasi,
so that ble customer datang boleh la kte serve dengan cara yang betul and leh wat dorang happy.
some things may looked so simple for us, but definitely important for others. and yes, if you don't know how to respect others who happened to be in the lower working classes than you, you are definitely don't deserved to be respected by others.

dan senyum
salah ke nak senyum?
berat sangat ke nak tarik sikit bibir nak senyum?
ada emas ke dalam mulut tu?
tak salah senyum
dapat pahala lagi
jadi senyum la.
tak rugi senyum
anggap senyum tu sebagai exercise untuk muka.
anggap senyum tu sebagai pembuka pintu rezeki.
orang gembira dengan kte pun kte dapat pahala.
senang sangat kan?
orait, juju nak pegi mandi dulu.
pasni nak tgk despicable me.
rindu ngan agnes.
Si Putih, ibu nak bawak Si Putih.
sebab pasni ibu kena tukar tempat keja.
kalau Si Putih ada ibu tak la sunyi sangat.
:)

juju's

Assalamualaikum wbt,
finally setel la sume yang berkaitan ngan keja juju blog.
maybe for quite sometimes juju akan rest from menulis kat blog.
don't be sad eh blog?
juju sangat sedih nak pisah ngan Si Putih
Si Putih jangan nakal-nakal eh?
jangan buat ibu sedih
jaga diri elok-elok,
ibu pegi keja ni.
nak beli accessories untuk Si Putih la.
oh, sedih nye.........
tadi cik sayang tolong lagi.
dia sangat baik, penyayang, always there. he knows that even i tell him or not, i always need him.
i wanted him to be half of me.
he is indeed, half of me.
dear Allah the most gracious and most merciful,
please take a good care of my beloved whenever i'm not by his side.
i love him, and i wanted him to complete half part of my religion.
i love him,
dan saya mahu dia jadi yang halal bagi saya.
Allah,
You indeed the Knoweth of all beings.
and You know what is best for me.
give me what is the best for me and him
guide me,
not only in loving people,
but throughout of my life,
please never leave me,
please never make us separated.
please make my heart grows stronger,
please,
and please,

baby, strawberry's, and juju's sayang.

Assalamualaikum wbt,
oh sudah lama ketinggalan untuk bersembang dengan kamu blog.
meh juju nak cter ni.
this my new baby niece.
her name is Qaisara Rose Dayana binti Rozaini.
i know, she has a long name but will be called only on first name unless we, or specifically me get angry and i'll call the name by the full name.
this is one of my habits when i get angry. i'll call the people by their full name, or their name that i know.

Qaisara Rose Dayana Rozaini :)

Alkisah jugak, masa juju kuar ngan cik sayang juju pegi setelkan hal keje kat Maybank and singgah IOI Mall Puchong, kami dengan Qaseh, (juju bawak Qaseh sebab takde orang nak jaga), kami singgah Daiso. kedai yang jual barang-barang dari Jepun. ngah jalan-jalan cari mug strawberry yang juju tak sempat nak beli dulu, kami ternampak strawberry water pail ngan strawberry washbowl. ape lagi, sambar terus. hehehehe.

ni la mug yang juju nak tu. terus sayang juju belikan dua. juju satu dia satu :)

strawberry water pail :)

strawberry wash bowl :)

paling best, kat KL Sentral semalam sayang juju belikan strawberry ear muff. comel sangat, oh tolong la. macam nak pengsan tengok ni. terus juju cuit dia, buat muka comel. and sayang pun terus belikan.

terima kasih sayang dah tolong saya dengan koleksi strawberry saya ni :)
you are the best sayang :)

ok, itu lah citer nya.
nanti juju tulis lagi eh blog,
juju nak pergi berdondang sayang ngan strawberry-strawberry juju ni.
oh oh oh oh, sangat comel
tatatata, jumpa lagi blog

penat

Assalamualaikum wbt,
lama juju tak hapdet (update) blog ni.
gomen blog.
juju penat pegi setelkan menda-menda berkaitan ngan kerja.
nasib baik ada cik sayang juju, caer chomot momot.
terima kasih sayang
dalam dua hari lagi juju start keja. time tu memang tak sempat nak update la kot.
pape pun, tengok dulu ye blog?
juju nak citer yang juju dapat new baby niece.
tak sure lagi ape nama dia.
comel sangat.
berat taw dia.
4 kgs berat lahir.
hehehehe.
hari ni juju pegi hospital.
tengok baby la.
dapat le peluang nak peluk cium baby tu.
best sangat bau dia.
bau baby memang best,
kan?

nanti juju taw ape nama baby, juju gtaw sume.
juju nak ambil peluang ni,
nak berterima kasih ngan sayang juju yang banyak tolong juju semalam
terima kasih sayang
sayang juju pun teman belikan strawberry pail and strawberry wash bowl
memang comel tahap hikmat petala ke lapan.
nanti juju upload gambar the strawberry's tu yea?
ok la
juju penat
need some rest.
what more lengan juju sakit.
sampai tak boleh tido malam tadi.
dah makan ubat tahan sakit pun tak jalan
cian sayang juju, juju kacau dia malam tadi
sorry sayang
ok la
tatatatatata