kun fayakun

Assalamualaikum wbt,
on may 2, 2012 i was struck by a bad news. i was engulf

by the sadness, 

up to one point i questioned myself why

is it that this is happening to me.

whilst i knew that He is the all Knoweth.

Astaghfirullah, Dia lebih mengetahui.

sebelumnya juju merasa dikhianati.

someone that is so near to me, very dear to me,

is trying to get rid of me out of the life.

someone yang sangat juju sayang melebihi segalanya,

is trying to walk on the path of life without me.

someone yang convinced me that i can be very 

dependent kepada dia, now is trying to leave me.

It’s amazing right,

how at one point in our lives we will be extremely 

close with someone and then later they will become a complete stranger. 

You will pass by them without a word. Without a single acknowledging look.

This person, who once knew you so well, 

who once knew your fears, 

your desires, your dreams, your past, 

is now walking right past you, 

seeing right through you.

sungguh sedih, dan juju melayan kesedihan itu.

until one of my friends who is having a discussion 

with my room mate said this one magical word. 

KUN FAYAKUN.

jadilah, maka jadilah.

awak, 

ni memang ketentuan Dia.

but i beg you, please let me stay by your side.

awak,

you are the person who knew me so well, 

who knew my fears,

who knew my desires,

who knew my dreams,

pleaseeee...

do not walk past me,

do not see right through me.

please don't be my complete stranger.

awak,

awak cakap nak baca diari saya kan?
baca la blog ni.

half of my heart is here.

most of my feelings were written here.

dulu saya selalu post link blog kat wall awak kan

tapi sebab awak tak baca,

saya ingat awak tak sudi.

awak tahu tak, saya selalu tengok feedjit tu.

kalau-kalau awak ada baca apa-apa kat sini.

coz there are things that i want you to know.

things that are deeply buried in my heart.

and the rest in a black book called "half of me"

you'll find it in my bag.

indeed, i want you to read it silently.

i want you to read through me.

i want you to know what i feel, and how i'm 

hoping that you would read my feelings.

awak,

i've told you right,

come hell or high water i wanna be with you.

i wanna stay by your side.

just like how you stayed by my side when i am all alone.

sama-sama kita kuat dan menguatkan.

its a promised that we made together right?

please, let me get into your life.